Saturday, December 31, 2005

Happy new year

My New Year's resolutions are as follows

(Before you ask the question anonymous, this is my blog and i kinda like it and it will have 'my' new year's resolutions no matter how hackneyed they are, you dont like it, go get your own blog!!!!)

1. Lose weight. (Something i have always resolved to do as long as i have known what is it like to be able to resolve something, so in this case we are not taking this resolution very seriously.)
2. Make one pack of (10) cigarettes last fro two days.
3. To not spend more than 500/- a week.
4. To study for two hours everyday. (Well, its a beginning)
5. To crack the NET in 2006.
6. Make concrete plans for Ph. D.
6A. Therefore write the GRE.
7. Stop taking money from home or H. i.e. earn money

And Happy New Year's resolutions to you too.
Medusa howvever is ecstatic to announce that she doesn't look like medusa anymore, coz her hair has been shorn off. We are proud of our new look.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

If you feel attacked by feminism, it is probably a counter attack.

Take a look at what we found at today.

Here's a look at what caught our fancy (the caption is also a part of the booty)

My mind works like lightening. One brilliant flash and its gone.
Before giving someone a piece of your mind, be sure you have enough to spare.
All generalizations are false.
Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
All I want is less to do, more time to do it and higher pay for not getting it done.
Eat right, exercise, die anyway.
Man made beer. God made pot. You make the choice.
Plagiarism is copying from one source, research is copying from two or more.

With such words of consolation, medusa signs off. There goes another brilliant mind ruined by higher education.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

kumbh ke mele mein

okay, here it goes.
kumbh Kay mela is this 12 yearly gathering of people that happens at Allahabad and therefore mucho chaos (as is natural with everything religious) ensues. So often in Hindi films, twins and brothers and sisters and families get separated and go on to live their individual lives, that often turn out to be in opposition with one another.
at the end of the film they reunite and live happily ever after.
among other things:
after procastinating for 28 days, the moment medusa made up her mind to sit down and study, her wheezings and asthma came back, with severe sleepfulness, which has reduced (or elevated ) medusa to the state of a vegetable which occasionally spreads its roots in search of nutrition, that being done goes back to its vegetable life .
the internet has not done anything to help her recovery.
jgbvurafjdsvuwrtopw eiruiefhknc;lgveugh746574ydjfvbjsavuty786 jfeihgurwdjvjsakllk

Monday, December 26, 2005


had the funnest christmas ever. the gals in the hostel decided to have a christmas party and invited the boys over. as the designated santa i had to make the surprise gifts*, and all of us ransacked the campus for something that resembled a christmas tree, put one girl on the terrace to cut the branches, planted it, decorated it, brought cake and wine and chips and lit a bonfire and raised toasts and generally freaked out.
but the freakier part came later, at around 1 in the morning when my army- friends M** and G came in the campus at 80kmph, picked up me n tootsie and dashed off into the night.
i was wearing a cut t shirt n jeans, tootsie had slippers on, and apparently we were going to this place called Runwy 9(passes to which gala christmas ball had been given to us on tds on wednesday) which is at the back of beyond, somewhere beyond jungles and fields in a far far away place which was also extremely cold. obviously neither me nor tootsie knew where were we going, or what was this place (i still dont know) and were shivering in the cold. obviously by the time we reached there (2 a.m.) the party was long over, only underdressed women and bulky men could be seen walking towards their cars.
so our two defencemen had another brainwave, and we went to another god forsaken place (trust me i am not taking god's name in vain, this place was definitely in the middle of nowhere) and we could not even turn the lights of the car on, for fear of regimental patrol who might not be pleased to see two jawans*** with two women .....they however took it upon themselves to scare the shit out of me by telling me stories of a woman who had been raped in this same place and killed, and how she still runs screaming for help and etc...
that dark night, that crescent moon, that deserted place and those creepy trees, did nothing to reduce my scaredness. sigh!!!!
thankfully the men were hungry and we left for pickles (fave expensive restaurant where i have never eateb with my own money, with an excellent midnight buffet) after freezing our butts off. it was 3:30 in the morning and every shapes and sizes of the male of the species inhabiting the city of hyderabad were there, and they were basically greeting each other like kumbh ke mele mein bichhren bhai ****
came back at four thirty, (the less said about M's drunk driving the better), after having spent by far the best christmas of my life.

*bookmarks with ribbons attached to them, which people like and disliked on equal measures....but hey, if it weren't for me, u wdnt even have a gift huh?
**M happens to be the sweetheart whose car i filled with puke coupla weeks ago....
***Hindi word for young man or youth, but in this case an officer serving in the Indian Army, or so i think
****serious aplogies to my non indian readers, but this term requires an entire blog posting of its own....and will be taken care of in some time

Thursday, December 22, 2005

pubbin' days

wednesday was meant to be great. what with the chance encounter with the perfect vcd/dvd parlour that has all the films that i need to write my paper, and the cool* film viewing with a grumbling boomshak, the stage was all set for a great ladies' night at our favourite joint.
and what a night did it turn out to be?
four of us, and no men and all four of us determined to enjoy at whatever cost.
so we drank (i drank only a beer and a blue lagoon and a gin n lime n four screw drivers) and then we played truth n dare n then we went n started talking to random cute guys**, something that we had never done ever before in our lives.
to top it all, we were the first ones at the dance floor, which resulted in free passes to some random fuckin expensive place, some place that we will never be able to afford.
but what the hell.
and then there was the all time favourite midnight train ride to sec bad, the grumbling autowalahs and a snack at the hostel steps.
long live hyderabad and its ladies' nights.
* the film was "bluffmaster" with hot hot hot hot hot......Abhishek Bacchan, and even though not great by itself, was completely paisa vasool thanks to the impeccable charm and virility of Junior B. and to top it all, he could act!!!!!!
**cute guy vinay, this one is for you, what with giving us the mail id and ph no. that we shall never use, and the cutest smile in a long long time.
p.s. only bad thing about the evening: the cool guy that hot neighbour has been trying to hit on for the past two months, finally hit the dance floor, with a girl friend in tow. bummer.....

Saturday, December 17, 2005

muh life

tootsie and fly on the wall (random close frends whose random adventures are a huge part of muh life) are sleeping happily on my bed, while i tiptoe around the room wondering how can two grown human beings fit into such a tiny bed. but then again, they are not as fussy as sleepers as i am i suppose, but on second thought, i am not fussy at all. i can sleep with the light on, with people holding regular conversations all around me, with blaring music and/or loud tv, basically everything. but i can't sleep with someone right next to me, touching skin to skin. don't get me wrong, i can stay awake in such situations, and be fairly active etc, but sleep always eludes me.
among other things, phdcomics (as the accompanying comic will testify) has hit the nal on the head again. i dont want to work, i think there is something like two weeks left before any of the term papers are due, anyway the place is too quiet and too chilly to get any work done. (no one else shares my sentiments though, least of all hot neighbour who is on the verge of finishing her work). but i do have really important work to do, i make lemon tea thrice a day and worry about money. actually that is the only luxury that i can still afford, i dont even have money to buy food, and am obsessing about it so much that all kinds of people are willing to lend me some. but i will not take money from em coz i know i can never pay em back, the speed with which all my moeny gets spent whenever i have any.
so basically am learning how to save (slightly late in the day though coz i dont have any to save).
what else, had great pubbing wedensday. left a trail of puke from the pub to the campus and such similar marks on other people's cars and clothes (dint spend moeny though, it was a free ladies' night), and my frends are ecstatic. they gahtered around me and cheered, saying finally u r drunk.....yipee do.
seriously, from now on my guzzler reputation is going to be a diff one to live up to.

Monday, December 12, 2005

After watching Sin City!

This is about my relationships with scary movies.I might be culturally deprived, but I really can not see the point in making or watching a scary film. As far as I am concerned, I can not, have never, and never intend to watch a scary film ever in my entire life. Okay, the statement seems slightly hyperbolic, and it is. The question one might as well as ask me, is, if you have never watched a scary film, then how you know that you do not want to watch one.
That is because, my dear readers, I have tried to sit through films that have scary sequences, I have sat in the next room while my sister was on an endless horror serial watching trip, and I have felt myself shut my eyes tight and stuff my ears with cotton just to ward off the sound that comes from the next room.
So, I actually am not half as inexperienced as I would like people to believe, but that does not take away from the fact that I am really scared. It is not because I think that the stuff on tv will happen to me one day, or because I empathize with the grief and horror stricken characters on the screen, but because, I think, it is in me that the scary film gets its ideal viewer, the spectator who is absent.
I mean, what exactly is it that you are trying to achieve by making or in this case screening a scary film? To scare people right? So when a person is scared it can safely be assumed that the purpose has been served. And therefore, since I get scared in a movie hall with the first hint of anything remotely scary, or violent, or bloody, or gory, or reptile-y, then am I not the implied consumer? And if I am, and if horror films are too scary for me to ever go and try and watch another one of them, then why produce more horror films?
(And yes Mr. Tarantino, this applies to you too.)

Thursday, December 08, 2005

about my work now....

Thought would write something about my project, and expect the small yet regular readers' to comment on it. so don't disappoint me you guys.
My research aims to look at women's work. But this is where it also hits a block. Almost all the feminist analysis of women's work and working women has concentrated on the working class women, their participation in economic production and the possiblities of more equal rights for women and consequently the possiblity of emancipation.
But i do not want to look at the working class women. for entirely selfish reasons (being brought up by a working mother and working father who took their work very seriously, mother being part of a worker's union and always knowing that when i grow up, i can not think about getting married and letting the man take care of my needs, not because that is impossible, but because that is simply not done.) When i looked to feminism for some engagement with the work done by women like my mother and the kind of woman i grew up to be, i had to face a void.
Middle class women, those who do not have to be a part of the workforce by economic necessity, especially in India, have not found any analysis of their situation in mainstream feminist discourse.
Even abroad, the discussions have mostly been restricted to the analysis of housework and etc.
that is where women's fiction, especially romantic fiction comes in. it is my proposal that unlike feminist theory, popular romantic fiction read and written by women, exhibit a different level of engagement with the middle class woman's work. they concentrate on exploring the meaning of work for women who do not have to earn their livings but choose to do so, women who derive pleasure from the work that they do, and women for whom work is a question of choice.
The formation of subjectivity in a patriarchy like India, for middle class women, i believe is determined greatly by their ability to go and work outside of the home, in the public domain.
Examples? MIlls and Boon would be nice. these straight forward romantice stories have seen a lot of change in their shape and conetent of the last 60 years or so. the chaste kiss has been replaced by some heavy duty sexual acitivity, but the women heroines are also no longer subordinate nurses or receptionists. they have carved out a niche for themselves in the public sphere, and by their own right. what are the implications of such an important move? how does the narrative reconcile with the two distinct traces of movement in the fiction, one in which the hero is the be-all-and-end-all of the heroine's life, and the other in which she refuses to compromise about the importance of her work in her life?
Also, what is the necessity of asking questions about middle class wokring women?
and so on and so forth.....

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

chatting blues.....

This is what happened to my friend tootsie when she tried to chat with someone.

gauraveee: pic/cam?

tootsie: nope
gauravee: bye
tootsie: bye
gauravee: just a sec, asl?
tootsie: i just wanted to talk. i am not interested in stupid conversations.
gauravee: r u sita or what?
tootsie: no i am just an average girl.
gauraveee: so what's your surname?
tootsie: trust me i am not Sita RAmchandra Raghuvanshi
gauravee: date of birth place and time?
tootsie: what the hell!!!
gauravee: I am an engineer in Nigeria and i think you are perfetc fo rme to marry.
tootsie: are you nuts?
guravee: why do you talk like that? average girls don't say hell and nuts.
tootse: What the hell!!!!!!!!
gauraveee: again you are saying hell. Chat with me with a cam tomorrow.
tootsie: no, sorry am busy.
gauravee: you are missing the chance to marry me. i wont marry you now.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

my student

This is what my student at the English Proficiency course wrote when he was given a homework of describing the physical appearance of his favourite person

Physical Appearance about my fiance
She is 19 year old. She is pretty good looking. She's weight 50kg and height 5.4 feet.
1) She has wavy burgundy coloured hair with step cut.
2)She has oval face, fair colour with pinkish complexion.
3) Her eyes are round in shape with long eye lashes and shaped eye brows.
4) A bit sharp nose.
5) She has slim personality with sexy attraction.

IS there a law anywhere preventing incompetent teachers from hitting on their students' fiances?

Friday, December 02, 2005

where are you going?

medusa: Auto!!!!
auto driver: where to?
medusa: vidyanagar.
auto driver (from now on ad): come.
medusa: (feeling really surprised, why is this guy speaking to me in English? for the uninitiated, all auto conversations are held in Hindi, because most drivers are not literate and definitely not conversant in English)
ad: (still in English) so what you study?
medusa: er....English....
ad: why? coz it international language?
medusa: (not knowing the answer to the question) er....yes....
ad: what foreign languages you know?
medusa: (now terribly embarrassed) none....
ad: no foreign language? how many langugage you know?
medusa: (more embarrassed) three...hindi, bengali, english.....
ad: bas? very bad
medusa: (desperately fidgeting with the cell phone, not looking at him in order to divert attention from herself)
ad: ok, it is 20/-
medusa: (smiling sheepishly, knowing fully well that she is being fooled) thank you
ad: why not go abroad?
medusa: (to herself.....abroad? abroad? he said the word abroad?) i dont know...maybe later
ad: go to Us or Switzerland
medusa: ok.......(please dont do this to me, i keep on asking myself this question everyday)
ad: I did German and French from your institute
medusa: (dumbfounded....then why are you driving an very mean of me to be thinking that....aaaaaaaaa, this is what will happen to me help help!)
ad: (starts speaking french, or so medusa thinks coz she doesnt know anything anyway)
medusa runs for her life........

lesson learnt.....
never learn a foreign language coz u might just be in a position to bully poor research students.
lesson 2: learn a foreign language otherwise everyone will bully you.
lesson 3: where is your academics headed to?

Thursday, December 01, 2005

coz it has been to long without them

i dont care what wanabe thinks, it has been so long without her in this blog that it almost hurts....

for ghb

Grasshopperboy can not always save the day...after all he is a grasshopper, and even if sidekick girl kicks him by mistake, he wouldn't be around to save us....
so that is when you feel the need of medusastoned (drumrolls ladies and gentlemen and my friends...).
medusastoned fights super villains by turning them into stones (ya sure as if you did not guess). bt what is interesting is that in her undying quest for justice she uses illegal substances like pot. she comes in the dark of the night under the disguise of a pedlar (your very own tambourine man, if you want that) supplying pot to her arch enemies....and the stuff is so good and so strong...the enemies smoke up and get stoned.
Thus in one gesture she subverts the law that bans marijuana by using it to punish those who are the enemies of superheros like her. she and her trusted sidekick potbelly (one who carries pot in her stomach...duh) roam the streets in search of grasshopperboy, poor insect that got lost in this wide wide world......

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

this is a new column type thing

This is kind of a regular column type of a thing that i have been thinking about, one that keeps track of the films i watch and the books i read (apart from fulfilling the most imporatant task of showing off), but since i do not know how to achieve a column kinda thing inside this blog, i suppose i just will put them in regular posts.
horse whisperer is very slow, but has picked up pace now that the whisperer has been introduced to the reader, i wish he could have cut down a bit on the description of the landscape though.
Daswani on the other hand, is promising to be a perfect subsitute for the mindless Mbs that i have been craving for a long while now. (Shame on me, i call my subject of research "mindless", especially since it is one of my aims to show, after many others, that they are not so after all)


Abhishek looked gorgeous, and so did Rupa. Jackie was also nice, but Soha killed the film. One knows that she is being fornicated without any pleasure being derived by her every night, but one almost doesn't feel sad for her. one knows that Abhishek is fetishisd, and one participates in that process mostly because of the way in which Rupa leads us into doing as much....One however keeps on thinking how do the Bengalis get away with this...the scenes where Abhishek is making the breasts of the Durga idol and starts fantasising about his wife (Raima who also looked great) and then Soha, are definitely the most sensuous ones, apart from the shots that had Rupa in close focus...Anywhere else in the country, he would have had a hindu fundamentalist fatwa (there i have appropriated a regularly misused term) against his name ...he is Rituporno by the way, and he should start making greater films now...good he is good at.....this is not meant to be a review though, if you want one, then go here.

Monday, November 28, 2005

This is goin' to be one helluva long post....

The internet is back!!!!!!Hallelujah!!!!!!
What happened is as follows: one fine Saturady morning (fater yours truly had sat through "My Fair LAdy" for the nth time in a row at 7 in the morning), the administration decided to chop off two huge branches in front of the LAdies Hostel, coz it was intefering with the electric cables, good decision one must say.

as a result, no electricity from 11 to 5, and then when it came back, all the world ran for the internet, and it wasn't working, coz the smart asses had cut off the internet cables also.
The power cut however, was not entirely unproductive, i got a hair cut (so now i look like a late 19th c Bengali Bhadralok), as did serendipiduous and hot neighbour.
But the usefulness with which i have been occupying my time is as follows: read shitty and not so shitty books, was really really nice films and also watched "Antarmahal", but it is an enitrely fifferent story all together......

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Citation and reiteration

This is a very sad attempt at paraphrasing Judith Butler, but since one is so taken by her, one has to do is an ontological propensity (could one possibly get more UN-Butler like?)...Anyway, what i thought she was trying to say is that, every act, or what you think of as an unique act is a reiteration, a citation, and is consituted of a failure of memory. but it is in those moments of citation that it is possible to cite the past differently (as it anyway always is), to displace the desired effect by something diferent.
I do not quite know whether this made any sesne to anyone but me, (anon will definitely extend his/her helping hand), but reading Butler is so electrifying that i have been raving about it ever since the afternoon, and what else, but have decided to appropriate it to my specific purposes.
Since the possiblity of subversion makes itself present in every conscious reiteration, i can definitely dedicate this blog to such a purpose....:)
So the first repetition is what was heard during the Reading course discussion session....Her Highness the Diva (my supervisor) told course mate....Why do you have to smoke to defy patriarchy? Why can't you do maths better?
What, dear smokers, do you say to that?

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Harry Potter ans the Goblet of Fire

Watched it.
Loved it.
Loved Fred and George the most.
Got scared.
Cdn't watch the entire maze sequence.
Agree with UG on all counts about the omissions though.
But, it will also be interesting to find out how they manage to make the next film.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

This is meant to be a smiley

The following is what was waiting for me in the message box.....

anonymous said...

a humble submission: please check the meaning AND usage of the words "disclaimer" and "proliferation"...academics?? doesnt look like it..yeah..but someone wise has already told you that before on your own blog.

couple of well known disclaimers you're perhaps not aware of:

disclaimer 1: people with borrowed intellect are an antithesis to blogging...hence they are not allowed.
disclaimer 2: blogs are not "lets pretend to be different" zones

Thought of the day: holding front seats to a basketball game doesnt make you a player.
get it get it get it?? more later..since you love comments so much...
ps: beatrice once said..truth is nastiness; nastiness, truth!

11:00 PM

All i want anon to remember, when s/he cites Beatrice is, it was a nice gesture to equate truth with nastiness, but is there only one kind? when you seek to pin down truth outside of all the discourses through and within and by which truth resides and comes into being, which includes nastiness, you are being a totalitarian, your version of reality and therefore truth, from then onwards, is the only one possible, and no, before you say that, i am not preaching any pseudo-foucauldian relativism. every time you participate in a discourse that claims to be the only one of its kind, and therefore seeks to hide its status as a metanarrative, which however is manufactured, an arefact, you mariginalise the subaltern voices and narratives, which unlike you do not make a claim of being 'always already there'. i can not even begin to look into the nature of nastiness, your truth claims, presuambly for my benefit, are so overwhelming, i have, as you must have noticed, missed the point.
The self refelxivity of your narrative is however commendable, it you still can not get it, read the last line of your message.
truth is also about power, i have the power to stop anonymous comments, but i will not do that. you however have the power of 'nastiness', hope you shall use it carefully. after all, i am not serving you my version of truth, subversion is not something i need to be wary of, truth claims, in this blog, are all yours , and therefore, have fun!!!!

Monday, November 21, 2005

Disclaimers, Clarifications, and what say you....

Disclaimer one:
The Speed excerpt was not an original, it is taken from this fantastic site at rinkworks/
Disclaimer two:
The author is respnsible for all the posts on this blog, but not the comments. As the title clearly states, "If you do not like this blog, go get your own."
Disclaimer three:
I like it when people post comments, no matter how nasty they are. So dear Anon aka wanabe, :) thank you.
Disclaimer four:
This blog will never have pics of hot neighbour.
Disclaimer five:
If you have a problem with the proliferation of Angelina Jolie on this blog, as I mentioned earlier, you can jolly well go and get your own.
And about the image on top, it is part of my favourite, phdcomics, who can be visited at

Friday, November 18, 2005

I do love Speed

Dennis Hopper
I will blow up the elevator.
Keanu Reeves
Oh no. Not the elevator. (saves elevator)
Dennis Hopper
I will blow up the bus.
Keanu Reeves

Oh no. Not the bus. (saves bus)
Dennis Hopper
I will blow up the subway.
Keanu Reeves

Oh no. Not the subway. (saves subway)

The End

funny story?

This is the story of my infamy that I meant to write a few days ago, but was not feeling at all nice about myself, and as a result was unable to take a crack at myself. But now that everything is nice and fine, "a brand new day", and self respect is totally restored after one hour long tete-a-tete (excuse the absence of the accents), the time is ripe to make a dig at myself, and allow the rest of the humanity to do as much.Not that i am worried it would take them too much to do that.haan, going back, i wake up not so early in the morning and have to go out immediately, and am looking for my lock and key. and they are not there. now on principle i never ever misplace my lock and key. i lose books and pen and money, and temper and cds and friends and assignments and etc, but never never my lock and my superbrain (like chacha chaudhuri, whose brain is faster than a computer) starts working and my suspicion zeros on the friend who stayed over in the night. i go and wake her up (poor baby had finally gone to sleep in her room) but she dint have it. go to next door hot neighbour's room, she doesnt have it either. but she is way more enterprising than i am, and goes and gets a magnet, with the hope that my lock will zoom to her magnet and like a true superhero she will save the day.i am not so trusting, so i go to the third person who had paid me a visit the night before, and wake her up also. she looks very angry (as she should) and said, "i opened ur door last night remember?" medusa yaps..." ya ya, n did u take it?""no, it is hanging behind your door."i have nothing more to say.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

this day, could have been such an ordinary day, could have gone in an uneventful way, then you came into my world, and in my world you stayed...okay okay, i shall stop making myself appear more interesting than i am, but it has been such a nice day, who better to express this sense of freedom than dear (not) old angelina, who makes my freedom to do what i please (inside the campus, for a day at a time) worthwhile, because i can while away my days dreaming of her? Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Free at last, free at last, thank god almighty i am free at last

and from the skies, a sinister voice said, "spoken too soon."
and i woke up to find more assignments, more classes, no money, more meetings, no booze and a terrible horrible wrist ache.
and no comments.


we have to run and fight and hide and etc. this is madness. why would one nice individual make one go through such trauma. i dont want to do assignments. to top it all no one seems to be online even, how will i survive through the night? and write critiques of people who are forty years older than me? and to top it all, i am sleepy.
sympathy, hello people, earth calling the martians, anybody in there?

Monday, November 14, 2005

This one is for UG, and this is called "Urban Romance". It doesnt matter whether she has seen this before though. :) Posted by Picasa

I know that this is ver artificial, or that everyone thinks that it is, and also that it is engineered to generate a certain kind of, most probably a very heterosexual male response, but isnt this beautiful? Posted by Picasa

When i was a kid, and had a huger crush on him, one of my recurret fantasies was to become famous director and meet him and cast him in one of my films etc...but since yesterday, i do not think i want to be a director anymore. i mean the earlier lady who had come to campus to screen her docus was bad enuf, with the insistence on the focus and sharpness. but yesterday's chappy totally took the cake by making us late by 30mins coz he wanted us to increase n decrease the brightness/ contrast/ sharpness exatcly in that order. i mean it went on and on and on. i liked his film, and this is the second time was watching him, and he would have never come to the place if i didnt like his film in the first place. and he is pretty talented, but he was a student not so long ago, so then how can yo be so stuck up and not understand al the problems a student run org can have? but anyway, coming back to my own "oceans of fantasy". days and nights were so full of him that i really really used to wonder how can i possibly be alive without him, and how am i stil alive? that phase has past, but am still surprised that everytime someone mentions him, or i see him on the tv, i start grinning like some foolish fifteen year old. nice feeling.  Posted by Picasa

Sunday, November 13, 2005

this is Shane form the L word, as all of us know....isn't she great, isn't she good, isn't she lovely? Posted by Picasa

Friday, November 11, 2005

What would I not give to be the sink or the tap...... Posted by Picasa

time and such mundane things

ok, first acknowledgements. i owe the inspiration to dave, but that is where his influence stops, coz like great and not so great writers and composers and etc, i would like to claim originality in whatever else follows.
i mean, if you are in India, and have had a certain amount of exposure to Hindi film songs, then you have to be familiar with the Anu Malik type composers, who are regularly inspired by various artists all over the world, and in effect put inane lyrics to the copied tunes, without ever acknowledging the original.
I am not complaining, but i am not following his example either. Atleast not yet.
Anyway, the point of the matter is this: I want a world, or rather i want to be in such a position (the world and rest of the fellow humanity can go to hell) where no watches will ever be required. I mean i am not claiming that i shall never do any work, all that i am asking for is the liberty of doing it at my own pace.
And you know what? Am actually approximating that position.
How you ask?
Ok, i do not have an alarm clock, rather i have two, but i do not use them, and therefore i never wake up when everyone expects me to wake up. Since i do not wake up ever in time for breakfast or lunch, i can go and have really nice dinner where ever i want to.
apart from the gastronomical freedom, i also do not have to attend classes.
and since i do not attend classes, i do not have to submit assignments.
Nice na?

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Glorious Last Night!!!!!! Posted by Picasa


Three blue lagoons
A glass of beer
Two Tequillas
A gigantic birthday cake
An omlet off the road
NIce music in the pub for a change
The inability to get high
Will not change it for anything

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

ok, this is groucho marx, which i am kinda sure everyone knows. but i didnt, till yesterday, i mean i didnt know what he looked like, and somehow had been nurturing the idea that i look like him. but now, my dear all, i am glad to say, i dont think so anymore (but no disrespect to groucho or any of the marx brothers) Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

This is because there is a faint hope that she might be reading my blog and will consider checking me out owing to the enormous amount of devotion and lust that i shower on her Posted by Picasa

i have a link for all of us


i demand that everyone who even passes through my blog, checks this out:

ok, this is the most controversial picture that my comp has ever seen. i say, they are two guys, what say you? Posted by Picasa

Sunday, November 06, 2005

haan, this is all for quite some time. Posted by Picasa

happiness is a long gun

or some such thing...not an original...but in today's context happiness is something like a good meal, lots of old friends and nice weather...we had a kind of a reunion today, with some old people coming back and talking about their lives and all..and those are the times when you ineviatbly start thinking about your own life. this phenomenon has become so common that i try not to indulge in such luxuries, but can't help it. after all a certain amount of bourgeois self-indulgence has been and will be one of the building blocks of my self image.
but philosophising is an entirely different thing all together (like speaking without hyperboles)
what am i doing in this place? i know that on paper being a research scholar is well and fine, and i do earn some pocket money every once in a while, but when it coms down to one day at a time, i basically just sleep and eat and try andreduce the amount of bitching that i am involved in gradually.
that is about it.. there is no path breaking discovery (ok, wrong term to use, pathbreaking is not the right word for humanities people) and i dont even read to be able to find something to say about my theses. i mean, where is this work taking me?
what rot man, did i not agree to not wallow in self pity? therefore shall do something productive right now, which in my dictionary always means manula labour with lots of sweat involved.
so here we go, to arrange the room and clean up the mess accumulated over two weeks of illness.

Saturday, November 05, 2005


i hate hidi films in which the hero and the heroin keep on calling each otehr by name.
ria: JAI, lets sit down for some time.
JAi: no RIA, i have to go to work.
Ria: please , JAIcheck out the beauty of the scene.
Jai: but RIA, our boss will be waiting for me.
Ria:JAI if you dont stay with me here i will jump off this ledge.
Jai: RIA please stop. are you mad or what!



the title, as usual hopes to have no bearing with what is to be written, just that i have been as usual thinking about the purpose of blog, and for once, i am clear that i did and do intend to write for an intended set of readers, readers that would read, but i would have no ways of getting across to them or they to me apart from the mediation of this enromous network of people who do not have a real identity atleast to me.
ok, this is not where we get into a debate about the real and the virtual and the reality of the real etc. but the very act of writing "we", and not mean the royally cesarian "we" is witness to the fact that i do and intend to have a readership for my blog.
but they have to be people who are not around me, who can not get back to me for what i write or post, and even less, take me seriously. because after all that is the aim of my life, to attain such a state where nothing i say or do can be believed or taken in face value.
but that, must be the subject of another post.
anyway, i already am quite tired with this postmodern self reflexivity, and itch to go back to the question of coming out. but how, because whatever i have to say in this post will be an answer to frida, and i like her blog, and like the name even more. so there you go, you can never avoid the real, atleast the real concerns.
maybe, i should instead concentrate on the other blog and write there.
but more on coming out: it is only hetero, or atleast bi-s who have the liberty of saying that they are not gay today, or not straight today. one has to fight for the same labels that the others so easily discard, because these are the same labels that are not recognised by several societies and states, there are legislatures calling them unnatural, or if you are a lesbian in india, then denying your very existence.
how can you then, let go of the labels, when a lot of us have chosen these same labels to be the most crucial part of their identities.
these are the labels that they could get killed for, and these are the labels that you fight for.

Friday, November 04, 2005

coming out

funny huh? i mean i never thought that there was anything i needed to come out with, and i also thought that everyone who knows me more or less knows about my sexuality also, but today, after a singularly polemical msg in someone else's blog, suddenly blgosite parasite started clapping and said that you just made your first coming out speech.
hmm, ok, i suppose even that is a cause for celebration, and to mourn the passing away of days that were framed by the L word.
anyway, i am pretty intrigued by ugly girl's blog, and to think someone i find attractive and take a sufficient amount of interest in was actually making such a crucial transition and all of us were basically laughing about her nonchalance and etc....
but i do somehow feel funny when people think that they are going away from being a bisexual to defining themselves as a homosexual. please, i know and agree that gay is the identity, rather the only identity you can adopt to fight homophobia, and that there is no political charge or position available to bisexuality, atleast not yet, and that too because the slipping into the hetero norm is so easy for us.... but that doesnt mean that we would betray the cause does it necessarily?

Friday, October 14, 2005

hmm, this should ideally be a tribute to rojo mojo for all the nice beer photos that he has been posting all this while, but ofcourse, the credit for this photo goes to our dearest pomo and marxist aka confused mallu. Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

i am tired

i am so tired that it hurts, and it hurts so much that it only serves to increase the tiredness. then you shall ask me, why are you sitting infront of the comp then? because, when i am tired i get this insatiable urge to talk to people, to tell them what exactly is wrong. but that is a rather ideal sort of a situation, in which you have the energy and the patince to drag the tired body out of the room and go look for willing listeners, and then hope that this particular day they havent had any such experience that will make them talk as in short that is asking for quite a lot.
and today's motto is not to expect anything from anyone, so....
blogging rules.....

Saturday, September 17, 2005


hi, medusa... you invited me to join this blog but i didnt know what to post... um, there is no email address on your profile, but there is on mine, email me

Thursday, September 08, 2005

i refuse to believe this

now there are people adversiting on my blog? without my knowledge and without paying me? and what kinda of a business sense do u have if u end up advertising on a blog which noone, including the author, reads?

Sunday, September 04, 2005

why did i have to make this blog public?

hmm, if the true test of privacy is in anonymity, then what better place than the internet to be truly alone, and therefore safe in midts of these thronging millions?
hmm, nicely cliched phrase i must say.
anyway, not to worry blog dear, i shall come back soon, and that too with a bang.
ok, the bang promise is not insured ok?

Thursday, June 23, 2005

where did my link tab go?

ok, first time in my life i wrote something for the link tab, and it disappeared? ah well, anyway, i want everyone or no one to check out dave's site, it is at
and you know what, all the best site on, happen to be by men named dave , in that case, check out also.
medusa's blog, obviously is an exception.

i am a research scholar now

ok, i know that the link tab and the heading have nothing to do with each other, but i want my non existent readers to check out dave's blog, coz i think it is very cool.
ok, i shall not speak like an immature 15 year old slut (that by the way is the type of girl that i am , according to this quiz i took online), but behave like the calm and composed research scholar that i am now.ya sure, considering i am going to do my research on Mills and Boon, i dunno how much calmness that will excite on my family when they hear of that.
ah well, anyway, have a happy happy happy happy happy happy day (this is the gummy bear song in rugrats....stop you fool, you give your mental age away with every sentence that you write.)

Sunday, June 12, 2005

a tribute to mrs smith Posted by Hello

Saturday, June 11, 2005

living in a thriller

yes yes yes yes, my hopes and dreams come true, my one and only me has been the victim and at the site of a unforeseen act of theft that could have brought about unthought of harms upon the victims person, but the perpitrator had to remain satisfied with the acquisition of a two year old, and severely damaged cellular phone, and some money.
and the dumbass is so dumb that he hasnt even thrown off the sim card, he continues to receive calls that are made to my cell and then lie to them.
i agree that i have been very dumb to sleep with my door open, but he is not appearing to be remarkably smart either.
but on second thought, he is the one who has the cell, and i dont.

Saturday, June 04, 2005

the poster, speaks for itself, what more could i possibly add, apart from the fact that i whole heartedly support garfield.  Posted by Hello

hmm i like this idea

i think that my idea of a fun day will be travelling all over a place in public trasport, taking a local train and going till the end of its route, then take a bus to the end of its route, then get on a tram or another bus or something.
it sounds so cool, but there are a few preconditions for such a day to be perfect: one and most importantly, the weather has to be greaaaaaaaaaaaaat, otherwise we will melt or get so sadly wet in the rain that no bus will be willing to accept us.
secondly, there needs to be a variety (after all it is supposed to be the spice of life) of public transports available to one, and they also have to be reasonably cheap, otherwise the whole point is lost na? now if you are in hyderabad, you have only the choice of the bus and the train, with the odd seven seater thrown in. but if you were to be in kolkata, then my dears, it wil be a regular feast of buses, trams, auto rickshaws and local trains. so, what say you?

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

ah well!!!

i was absolutely certain that there is no point in continuing qwith the blog, specially since no one is going to miss it anyway, least of all me. so i resolutely did not think about it for a couple of weeks, and surprisingly did not miss it at all. and then slowly did not think about it at all,forgot that there are such things as blogs, and that i have one of them.
but today after ages, when i did fing it in my window, absolutely by mistake, it felt kinda nice. imean this is a thing that i have made, given shape to, constructed...blah blah blah....and it continued to exist even after i forgot all about it.
the feeling is pretty exhilarating i must say.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

this is the state of being that i reside in these days, we eatm drink, talk and sleep, and then tell each other, so much to do, so little time. we also crack jokes, such as, Did you hear about the sardar who asked his friends to give him all
their burnt out light bulbs?
He just bought a camera and wanted to set up a Darkroom.
after i posted this, i was reminded of a blunder that i had committed, yes, yes i myself, at the tender age of a bus full of people from all over the country, i was asked to say something, so i decided to crack a joke, a joke about a sardar.
 Posted by Hello

Sunday, May 15, 2005

can stuff that are not original also be termed narcissistic?

A Novel Approach to Saving MoneyThree engineers and threeaccountants are traveling by train to a conference.At the station, thethree accountants each buy tickets and watch as the threeengineers buyonly a single ticket."How are three people going to travel ononly one ticket?" asks anaccountant."Watch and you'll see,"answers an engineer.They all board the train. The accountantstake their respective seats but all
three engineers cram into a restroomand close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed,the conductor comes around collecting tickets.He knocks on the restroomdoor and says, "Ticket, please."The door opens just a crack anda single arm emerges with a ticket in hand.The conductor takes it andmoves on.The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite aclever idea. So after theconference, the accountants decide to copy theengineers on the return tripand save some money (being clever withmoney, and all that). When they get tothe station, they buy a singleticket for the return trip. To theirastonishment, the engineers don'tbuy a ticket at all."How are you going to travel without aticket?" says one perplexedaccountant."Watch and you'll see,"answers an engineer.When they board the train the threeaccountants cram into a restroom and thethree engineers cram intoanother one nearby. The train departs. Shortlyafterward, one of theengineers leaves his restroom and walks over to therestroom where theaccountants are hiding. He knocks on the door and says,Ticket,please."

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Public narcissism?

this hopes to be the first in a long series (or maybe not so long) of entries that seek to look into why medusa chose to have a blog? is it because she is extremely fond of washing her dirty linens in public, or maybe coz she has effectively dismantled the difference between public and private, after all an important political move.
or is it plain and simply peer pressure? or the hopes of attaining greatness online as xiaxue or bgv have done?
or is it the sad drem of getting one's work publushed, and no matter how sad that might be, be saved for posterity in the dark depths of the world wide web.
read on....

Friday, May 13, 2005

i hate chatting

archhcka1977: wht ur name
me: sammy
ar....: wht it mean?
me: o it doesnt have any spl meaning or anything
ar...: wht meaning? u want sex so u nikname tht?
me: what? do you understand english?
ar...: we start, you in thong kissing me...
me: what the fuck?????????
ar...: dont worry swihrt...we will fuk, all in good time...

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

because it has been too long without fill up my senses, like a noght in the forest...ahem ahem...inuendos always ruled the day for me, and right now the ones that are suggesting themselves to me are pretty i shall leave now, and think about them... Posted by Hello
i want to run away

Monday, May 09, 2005

ah well, it is over

sometime, the feeling is right, you fall in love for the first time, heart beat and kisses so sweet...
don't worry this is not about the first time i fell in love, it was so long ago that i do not even remember. this stems from the post-dissertation blues, blues which induce one to indulge in mushy movie screenings in the middle of the night, even though last forty eight hours were spent sleeplessly. (or else make you publish the blog that no one ever reads anyway)
what did we learn today from those bollywood romantic hits?
1) the mustard field owners must own mustard fields for the sole benefit of actors and actresses so that they may meet in peace and away from parental supervision
2) pink and yellow DO NOT go together
3) the rest i forget
p.s. smiling waiter at ccd can make you go bankrupt.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

hmmm so here are we now

wel, such an unimaginative title coz i cdnt think of anything to write, i can upload the firts cahpter of my dissert though...

Friday, May 06, 2005

i know that i should ideally and not so ideally even for all practical purposes be working on my dissert...but yawn, i mean after all. tomorrow never dies na? Posted by Hello

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

this is not just my frustration speaking, it is hard being a lonely dissertation student when everyone is off for home, and resist the temptation of not give in to all kinds of fantasies... Posted by Hello

Monday, May 02, 2005

i'm leaving on a jetplane....

not really, but still, everyone has started leaving, and i and a few other nerds are staying back in the hostel...and whne i woke up last faternoon and found water in the bathroom next to my room, i was actually pretty happy about it, less people more water, the only way you can take on this heat i suppose.
in the meantime i continue to try and learn how to post a photo in the blogm without using picasa, and am reminded of this one teacher i used to know, who everyone had a crush on. and he had this huge fan folowing, and so if he needed any information all he had to do was to mention it in his classes, and the next class half a dozen ppl will be ready to tell him all he needed to know.
sigh,, i wish i was sum such person, or else my faithful two and a half visitors suddenly cloned themselves and overpopulated my blog like xiaxue's.

Sunday, May 01, 2005

why do i always write about alcohol?

it is a pretty profound question you know, it is not just that i like to drink, i generally like people who like to drink, and maybe much more than that, i just like all who love free booze like i do...
so to break that pattern, even though i have hardly ever had so much fun talking to the cutest drunks in the whole wide world, i shall cange the subject and undertake something more profound...namely kissing...
i mean have you ever notice how people used to kiss in films that had audrey hepburne and gregory peck and etc? i mean they were never pecks or anything, definite my lips in yours attitude, but there is hardly any tongue as well. they are all interested in earnestly sucking each other's breaths out, or may be it is just good parctice for crp, or whtever that thing is called that allows you to kiss people in the name of helping them breathe.
for a very long period of time, towards the end of school, the only film i had ever watched which included a kissing scene was of that particular guess what happened when i tried to kiss someone...well, sad to say, but it is true, we tried, but i think we didnt, couldnt , technically kis...i mean something happened, but that is all i know, and for many years afterwards, i could never be sure what was it that we indulged in...

Friday, April 29, 2005

you have freakier hair than i do...i mean seriously, i have been slogging my butt off for the last one day, and all i have produced so far is 500 words? and another 500 to go? and then i have to go back to foucault? hard to belive this is the intellectually stimulating life i had always aspired to, learning to cook would have been so far, i have talked about the mystical foundation of authority and am proceeding to proove that desconstruction is justice, knowing fully well that i do not have an iota of an idea what deconstruction is. bloody unjust i must say. i demand justice. and since "deconstruction is already engaged with this infinite demand of justice", it may well leave me alone.  Posted by Hello