Wednesday, November 30, 2005

this is a new column type thing

This is kind of a regular column type of a thing that i have been thinking about, one that keeps track of the films i watch and the books i read (apart from fulfilling the most imporatant task of showing off), but since i do not know how to achieve a column kinda thing inside this blog, i suppose i just will put them in regular posts.
horse whisperer is very slow, but has picked up pace now that the whisperer has been introduced to the reader, i wish he could have cut down a bit on the description of the landscape though.
Daswani on the other hand, is promising to be a perfect subsitute for the mindless Mbs that i have been craving for a long while now. (Shame on me, i call my subject of research "mindless", especially since it is one of my aims to show, after many others, that they are not so after all)


Abhishek looked gorgeous, and so did Rupa. Jackie was also nice, but Soha killed the film. One knows that she is being fornicated without any pleasure being derived by her every night, but one almost doesn't feel sad for her. one knows that Abhishek is fetishisd, and one participates in that process mostly because of the way in which Rupa leads us into doing as much....One however keeps on thinking how do the Bengalis get away with this...the scenes where Abhishek is making the breasts of the Durga idol and starts fantasising about his wife (Raima who also looked great) and then Soha, are definitely the most sensuous ones, apart from the shots that had Rupa in close focus...Anywhere else in the country, he would have had a hindu fundamentalist fatwa (there i have appropriated a regularly misused term) against his name ...he is Rituporno by the way, and he should start making greater films now...good he is good at.....this is not meant to be a review though, if you want one, then go here.

Monday, November 28, 2005

This is goin' to be one helluva long post....

The internet is back!!!!!!Hallelujah!!!!!!
What happened is as follows: one fine Saturady morning (fater yours truly had sat through "My Fair LAdy" for the nth time in a row at 7 in the morning), the administration decided to chop off two huge branches in front of the LAdies Hostel, coz it was intefering with the electric cables, good decision one must say.

as a result, no electricity from 11 to 5, and then when it came back, all the world ran for the internet, and it wasn't working, coz the smart asses had cut off the internet cables also.
The power cut however, was not entirely unproductive, i got a hair cut (so now i look like a late 19th c Bengali Bhadralok), as did serendipiduous and hot neighbour.
But the usefulness with which i have been occupying my time is as follows: read shitty and not so shitty books, was really really nice films and also watched "Antarmahal", but it is an enitrely fifferent story all together......

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Citation and reiteration

This is a very sad attempt at paraphrasing Judith Butler, but since one is so taken by her, one has to do is an ontological propensity (could one possibly get more UN-Butler like?)...Anyway, what i thought she was trying to say is that, every act, or what you think of as an unique act is a reiteration, a citation, and is consituted of a failure of memory. but it is in those moments of citation that it is possible to cite the past differently (as it anyway always is), to displace the desired effect by something diferent.
I do not quite know whether this made any sesne to anyone but me, (anon will definitely extend his/her helping hand), but reading Butler is so electrifying that i have been raving about it ever since the afternoon, and what else, but have decided to appropriate it to my specific purposes.
Since the possiblity of subversion makes itself present in every conscious reiteration, i can definitely dedicate this blog to such a purpose....:)
So the first repetition is what was heard during the Reading course discussion session....Her Highness the Diva (my supervisor) told course mate....Why do you have to smoke to defy patriarchy? Why can't you do maths better?
What, dear smokers, do you say to that?

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Harry Potter ans the Goblet of Fire

Watched it.
Loved it.
Loved Fred and George the most.
Got scared.
Cdn't watch the entire maze sequence.
Agree with UG on all counts about the omissions though.
But, it will also be interesting to find out how they manage to make the next film.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

This is meant to be a smiley

The following is what was waiting for me in the message box.....

anonymous said...

a humble submission: please check the meaning AND usage of the words "disclaimer" and "proliferation"...academics?? doesnt look like it..yeah..but someone wise has already told you that before on your own blog.

couple of well known disclaimers you're perhaps not aware of:

disclaimer 1: people with borrowed intellect are an antithesis to blogging...hence they are not allowed.
disclaimer 2: blogs are not "lets pretend to be different" zones

Thought of the day: holding front seats to a basketball game doesnt make you a player.
get it get it get it?? more later..since you love comments so much...
ps: beatrice once said..truth is nastiness; nastiness, truth!

11:00 PM

All i want anon to remember, when s/he cites Beatrice is, it was a nice gesture to equate truth with nastiness, but is there only one kind? when you seek to pin down truth outside of all the discourses through and within and by which truth resides and comes into being, which includes nastiness, you are being a totalitarian, your version of reality and therefore truth, from then onwards, is the only one possible, and no, before you say that, i am not preaching any pseudo-foucauldian relativism. every time you participate in a discourse that claims to be the only one of its kind, and therefore seeks to hide its status as a metanarrative, which however is manufactured, an arefact, you mariginalise the subaltern voices and narratives, which unlike you do not make a claim of being 'always already there'. i can not even begin to look into the nature of nastiness, your truth claims, presuambly for my benefit, are so overwhelming, i have, as you must have noticed, missed the point.
The self refelxivity of your narrative is however commendable, it you still can not get it, read the last line of your message.
truth is also about power, i have the power to stop anonymous comments, but i will not do that. you however have the power of 'nastiness', hope you shall use it carefully. after all, i am not serving you my version of truth, subversion is not something i need to be wary of, truth claims, in this blog, are all yours , and therefore, have fun!!!!

Monday, November 21, 2005

Disclaimers, Clarifications, and what say you....

Disclaimer one:
The Speed excerpt was not an original, it is taken from this fantastic site at rinkworks/
Disclaimer two:
The author is respnsible for all the posts on this blog, but not the comments. As the title clearly states, "If you do not like this blog, go get your own."
Disclaimer three:
I like it when people post comments, no matter how nasty they are. So dear Anon aka wanabe, :) thank you.
Disclaimer four:
This blog will never have pics of hot neighbour.
Disclaimer five:
If you have a problem with the proliferation of Angelina Jolie on this blog, as I mentioned earlier, you can jolly well go and get your own.
And about the image on top, it is part of my favourite, phdcomics, who can be visited at

Friday, November 18, 2005

I do love Speed

Dennis Hopper
I will blow up the elevator.
Keanu Reeves
Oh no. Not the elevator. (saves elevator)
Dennis Hopper
I will blow up the bus.
Keanu Reeves

Oh no. Not the bus. (saves bus)
Dennis Hopper
I will blow up the subway.
Keanu Reeves

Oh no. Not the subway. (saves subway)

The End

funny story?

This is the story of my infamy that I meant to write a few days ago, but was not feeling at all nice about myself, and as a result was unable to take a crack at myself. But now that everything is nice and fine, "a brand new day", and self respect is totally restored after one hour long tete-a-tete (excuse the absence of the accents), the time is ripe to make a dig at myself, and allow the rest of the humanity to do as much.Not that i am worried it would take them too much to do that.haan, going back, i wake up not so early in the morning and have to go out immediately, and am looking for my lock and key. and they are not there. now on principle i never ever misplace my lock and key. i lose books and pen and money, and temper and cds and friends and assignments and etc, but never never my lock and my superbrain (like chacha chaudhuri, whose brain is faster than a computer) starts working and my suspicion zeros on the friend who stayed over in the night. i go and wake her up (poor baby had finally gone to sleep in her room) but she dint have it. go to next door hot neighbour's room, she doesnt have it either. but she is way more enterprising than i am, and goes and gets a magnet, with the hope that my lock will zoom to her magnet and like a true superhero she will save the day.i am not so trusting, so i go to the third person who had paid me a visit the night before, and wake her up also. she looks very angry (as she should) and said, "i opened ur door last night remember?" medusa yaps..." ya ya, n did u take it?""no, it is hanging behind your door."i have nothing more to say.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

this day, could have been such an ordinary day, could have gone in an uneventful way, then you came into my world, and in my world you stayed...okay okay, i shall stop making myself appear more interesting than i am, but it has been such a nice day, who better to express this sense of freedom than dear (not) old angelina, who makes my freedom to do what i please (inside the campus, for a day at a time) worthwhile, because i can while away my days dreaming of her? Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Free at last, free at last, thank god almighty i am free at last

and from the skies, a sinister voice said, "spoken too soon."
and i woke up to find more assignments, more classes, no money, more meetings, no booze and a terrible horrible wrist ache.
and no comments.


we have to run and fight and hide and etc. this is madness. why would one nice individual make one go through such trauma. i dont want to do assignments. to top it all no one seems to be online even, how will i survive through the night? and write critiques of people who are forty years older than me? and to top it all, i am sleepy.
sympathy, hello people, earth calling the martians, anybody in there?

Monday, November 14, 2005

This one is for UG, and this is called "Urban Romance". It doesnt matter whether she has seen this before though. :) Posted by Picasa

I know that this is ver artificial, or that everyone thinks that it is, and also that it is engineered to generate a certain kind of, most probably a very heterosexual male response, but isnt this beautiful? Posted by Picasa

When i was a kid, and had a huger crush on him, one of my recurret fantasies was to become famous director and meet him and cast him in one of my films etc...but since yesterday, i do not think i want to be a director anymore. i mean the earlier lady who had come to campus to screen her docus was bad enuf, with the insistence on the focus and sharpness. but yesterday's chappy totally took the cake by making us late by 30mins coz he wanted us to increase n decrease the brightness/ contrast/ sharpness exatcly in that order. i mean it went on and on and on. i liked his film, and this is the second time was watching him, and he would have never come to the place if i didnt like his film in the first place. and he is pretty talented, but he was a student not so long ago, so then how can yo be so stuck up and not understand al the problems a student run org can have? but anyway, coming back to my own "oceans of fantasy". days and nights were so full of him that i really really used to wonder how can i possibly be alive without him, and how am i stil alive? that phase has past, but am still surprised that everytime someone mentions him, or i see him on the tv, i start grinning like some foolish fifteen year old. nice feeling.  Posted by Picasa

Sunday, November 13, 2005

this is Shane form the L word, as all of us know....isn't she great, isn't she good, isn't she lovely? Posted by Picasa

Friday, November 11, 2005

What would I not give to be the sink or the tap...... Posted by Picasa

time and such mundane things

ok, first acknowledgements. i owe the inspiration to dave, but that is where his influence stops, coz like great and not so great writers and composers and etc, i would like to claim originality in whatever else follows.
i mean, if you are in India, and have had a certain amount of exposure to Hindi film songs, then you have to be familiar with the Anu Malik type composers, who are regularly inspired by various artists all over the world, and in effect put inane lyrics to the copied tunes, without ever acknowledging the original.
I am not complaining, but i am not following his example either. Atleast not yet.
Anyway, the point of the matter is this: I want a world, or rather i want to be in such a position (the world and rest of the fellow humanity can go to hell) where no watches will ever be required. I mean i am not claiming that i shall never do any work, all that i am asking for is the liberty of doing it at my own pace.
And you know what? Am actually approximating that position.
How you ask?
Ok, i do not have an alarm clock, rather i have two, but i do not use them, and therefore i never wake up when everyone expects me to wake up. Since i do not wake up ever in time for breakfast or lunch, i can go and have really nice dinner where ever i want to.
apart from the gastronomical freedom, i also do not have to attend classes.
and since i do not attend classes, i do not have to submit assignments.
Nice na?

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Glorious Last Night!!!!!! Posted by Picasa


Three blue lagoons
A glass of beer
Two Tequillas
A gigantic birthday cake
An omlet off the road
NIce music in the pub for a change
The inability to get high
Will not change it for anything

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

ok, this is groucho marx, which i am kinda sure everyone knows. but i didnt, till yesterday, i mean i didnt know what he looked like, and somehow had been nurturing the idea that i look like him. but now, my dear all, i am glad to say, i dont think so anymore (but no disrespect to groucho or any of the marx brothers) Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

This is because there is a faint hope that she might be reading my blog and will consider checking me out owing to the enormous amount of devotion and lust that i shower on her Posted by Picasa

i have a link for all of us


i demand that everyone who even passes through my blog, checks this out:

ok, this is the most controversial picture that my comp has ever seen. i say, they are two guys, what say you? Posted by Picasa

Sunday, November 06, 2005

haan, this is all for quite some time. Posted by Picasa

happiness is a long gun

or some such thing...not an original...but in today's context happiness is something like a good meal, lots of old friends and nice weather...we had a kind of a reunion today, with some old people coming back and talking about their lives and all..and those are the times when you ineviatbly start thinking about your own life. this phenomenon has become so common that i try not to indulge in such luxuries, but can't help it. after all a certain amount of bourgeois self-indulgence has been and will be one of the building blocks of my self image.
but philosophising is an entirely different thing all together (like speaking without hyperboles)
what am i doing in this place? i know that on paper being a research scholar is well and fine, and i do earn some pocket money every once in a while, but when it coms down to one day at a time, i basically just sleep and eat and try andreduce the amount of bitching that i am involved in gradually.
that is about it.. there is no path breaking discovery (ok, wrong term to use, pathbreaking is not the right word for humanities people) and i dont even read to be able to find something to say about my theses. i mean, where is this work taking me?
what rot man, did i not agree to not wallow in self pity? therefore shall do something productive right now, which in my dictionary always means manula labour with lots of sweat involved.
so here we go, to arrange the room and clean up the mess accumulated over two weeks of illness.

Saturday, November 05, 2005


i hate hidi films in which the hero and the heroin keep on calling each otehr by name.
ria: JAI, lets sit down for some time.
JAi: no RIA, i have to go to work.
Ria: please , JAIcheck out the beauty of the scene.
Jai: but RIA, our boss will be waiting for me.
Ria:JAI if you dont stay with me here i will jump off this ledge.
Jai: RIA please stop. are you mad or what!



the title, as usual hopes to have no bearing with what is to be written, just that i have been as usual thinking about the purpose of blog, and for once, i am clear that i did and do intend to write for an intended set of readers, readers that would read, but i would have no ways of getting across to them or they to me apart from the mediation of this enromous network of people who do not have a real identity atleast to me.
ok, this is not where we get into a debate about the real and the virtual and the reality of the real etc. but the very act of writing "we", and not mean the royally cesarian "we" is witness to the fact that i do and intend to have a readership for my blog.
but they have to be people who are not around me, who can not get back to me for what i write or post, and even less, take me seriously. because after all that is the aim of my life, to attain such a state where nothing i say or do can be believed or taken in face value.
but that, must be the subject of another post.
anyway, i already am quite tired with this postmodern self reflexivity, and itch to go back to the question of coming out. but how, because whatever i have to say in this post will be an answer to frida, and i like her blog, and like the name even more. so there you go, you can never avoid the real, atleast the real concerns.
maybe, i should instead concentrate on the other blog and write there.
but more on coming out: it is only hetero, or atleast bi-s who have the liberty of saying that they are not gay today, or not straight today. one has to fight for the same labels that the others so easily discard, because these are the same labels that are not recognised by several societies and states, there are legislatures calling them unnatural, or if you are a lesbian in india, then denying your very existence.
how can you then, let go of the labels, when a lot of us have chosen these same labels to be the most crucial part of their identities.
these are the labels that they could get killed for, and these are the labels that you fight for.

Friday, November 04, 2005

coming out

funny huh? i mean i never thought that there was anything i needed to come out with, and i also thought that everyone who knows me more or less knows about my sexuality also, but today, after a singularly polemical msg in someone else's blog, suddenly blgosite parasite started clapping and said that you just made your first coming out speech.
hmm, ok, i suppose even that is a cause for celebration, and to mourn the passing away of days that were framed by the L word.
anyway, i am pretty intrigued by ugly girl's blog, and to think someone i find attractive and take a sufficient amount of interest in was actually making such a crucial transition and all of us were basically laughing about her nonchalance and etc....
but i do somehow feel funny when people think that they are going away from being a bisexual to defining themselves as a homosexual. please, i know and agree that gay is the identity, rather the only identity you can adopt to fight homophobia, and that there is no political charge or position available to bisexuality, atleast not yet, and that too because the slipping into the hetero norm is so easy for us.... but that doesnt mean that we would betray the cause does it necessarily?