Sunday, April 02, 2006

look at the number of headings of my posts that start with I

and then anon asks me whether i feel as if i possess this "self" that i talk about.(ref: comment about the previous post)
obvously not, i do not even claim to know what is this elusive "self"hood or subjectivity that is mapped across the various discourses of power that i am (and this i is not a well defined and /or monolithic or even cognizable i)a part of or have been created by.
but does that mean one lets go of the carefully cultivated liberal humnaist notions of selfhood and individuality? especially since it is so much fun to pretend to do as much and the share a sense of subversion that can happen only from within?
*smirks* at her own supposed wittiness.
last night as usual was wild, with lots of whiskey and gin, good good good food and french cigarettes (the brand that godard smokes)......pretensions of being intellectual i tell you.
what followed was not half as happy as medusa might have wished it to be, but i suppose every once in a while medusa also feels like being sad just for the heck of it, because she has been too happy in her own happiness and seemed to lack the quintissential melancholia that everyone needs to experience every once in a while.


  1. 'lots of whiskey and gin, good good good food and french cigarettes;

    Your father-figure looks on disapprovingly and tuts quietly to himself.

  2. whiskey, Gin & French cigs? What else could you ask for.

    If you are still melancholy after all that, perhaps, something is missing.
    Some one to share your good times with?

    I say, fall in love. it's intoxicating in itself. (At my age, I'm speaking from past experience) :)

  3. Anonymous11:38 AM


    quintessential is a beautiful word. ive only seen it used once before, in the foreword of Bran Mak Morn..a fave Howardian book ;)

    i was not condemning ya, dont get me wrong. i was merely stating that maybe..u could find the deeper, subconscious drives that make what u do so titillating.

    then again, too much thinkin / feelin can make ya nutty.
    liek me.

    hey, hope u feel better soon.

  4. "In a self-centered circle, he goes round and round,
    That he is a wonder is true;
    For who but an egotist ever could be
    Circumference and center, too." -Sarah Fells

    isn't that the case with everybody? we see everything filtered through the "I, me, myself" filter.

    why do u want to experience melancholia when you can be happy all the time?i'm just being a lil curious here.

  5. Hello Medusa,
    yes the self is a mysterious thing - I still don't know what it is for if not to get hysterically drunk every now and then and let everything hang out a bit. Hey you wrote a comment about nets on my blog and I have a thing with nets - so there's another post - this one has nylon. And yeah I make nets all the time - maybe this says something about my self....

  6. baes aunek hoyechhe, aekhon aamaar kotha kichhu lekho.