its the curse

medusa used to think to call menstruation the "curse" is a derogatory patriarchal coinage. she still think so, but she also thinks that the truth value of that coinage is too potent to be ignored. why else will someone be subjected to a week's angst because it is late, and live in perpetual horror of the bad things that might be happening inside her.
and then when the blessed (surely you mean cursed?) moment comes, it brings with it headaches and back aches, stomach aches that do not go away with pain killers, acute depression (wait a min, chums are supposed to cure you of your pre menstrual stress, so what depresseion now?), nausea and what not. reducing a perfectly functioning human being to a mess (literally and figuratively...eeeew, dont be gross) the curse stays on for a week, and goes away only when you are bordering on anaemia.
if you still want to know the reason behind this post dear reader, take another guess.

third eye blind: god of wine

Every thought that I repent
Theres another chip you havent spent
And youre cashing them all in
Where do we begin to get clean again
Can we get clean again
I walk home alone with you
And the mood youre born into
Sometimes you let me in
And I take it on the chin
I cant get clean again
I want to know can we get clean again
The God of wine comes crashing through
The head lights of a car that took you farther
Than you thought youd ever want to go
We cant get back again
We cant get back again
She takes a drink and then she waits
The alcohol it permeates
And soon the cells give way, and cancels out the day
I cant keep it all together
I know I know I know... I cant keep it all together
And the sirens song that is your madness
Holds a truth I cant erase
All alone on your face
Every glamorous sunrise
Throws the planets out of line
A star sign out of whack, a fraudulent zodiac
And the God of wine is crouched down in my room
You let me down, I said it, now Im going down
And youre not even around
And I said no no no...
I cant keep it all together
I know I know I know...
I cant keep it all together
And theres a memory of a window
Looking through I see you
Searching for something I could never give you
And theres someone who understands
You more than I do
A sadness I cant erase
All alone on your face

sini ne sini ne

what would it be like to be an ice queen? not caring and showing it? not having to pretend that one cares, and therefore not having to carry out the the added responsibilites that come with pretending to care.
sigh, that is perhaps the least of medusa's worries. her problem is caring too much, and then showing it, and then letting go of all semblances of sanity when the objects of her affection stop caring.
so, maybe the new new year's resolution will be caring less. but is that what medusa truly wants? or should she just learn to say "amor fati" and not feel bad abt her fate?

hiding my face in shame!!!!

this is really embarrassing, but as medusa wanted to post her new year's resolutions , she suddenly thought of going through last year's. and wonder of all wonders, they have not changed!!! nothing that was to be achieved has been achieved, only new things have been added on.
sigh, a double sigh.

so all medusa effectively had to do, however, was copy paste last year's, and add a few more.

here goes:

1.Lose weight. (Something i have always resolved to do as long as i have known what is it like to be able to resolve something, so in this case we are not taking this resolution very seriously.)
2. Make one pack of (10) cigarettes last for two days.
3. To not spend more than 500/- a week.
4. To study for two hours everyday. (Well, its a beginning). modified form in 20007: finish the thesis!!!!!!
5. To crack the NET in 2006.
6. Make concrete plans for Ph. D.
6A. Therefore write the GRE.
6. b. so get the passport done.
7. Stop taking money from home or H. i.e. earn money